


A Day In The Past

by CumberRachel



Series: Avengers Fan Fiction Collection [14]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bath Sex, Blow Jobs, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Buce is the best, Bucky has a sinfull voice, Cuddles, De-Serumed Steve Rogers, Deepthroating, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Hiding, In the Shower, Kinda, Kissing, Lots of kissing, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Pseudoscience, Rough Sex, Shower Sex, Sick Steve Rogers, Skinny!Steve, Steve Rogers Feels, Super dr banner, Wall Sex, Worried Tony, bucky rides like a champ, doctor banner, more fake science that probably shouldnt work, shrinky!clinks, sick, woken up with a blowjob, worried Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-16 06:52:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4615527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CumberRachel/pseuds/CumberRachel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lounging on the couch with his boyfriend is usually how Steve loves to spend an evening, only he doesn't feel right. his head hurts, his muscles ache and its hard to breathe. Probably just exhaustion after a mission right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Shrinking Feeling

  
Laying on the sofa with Bucky resting on his chest is usually the best way to spend an evening. But something was different tonight, Bucky was an uncomfortable weight on his lungs instead of being a gentle blanket. 

His head was pounding, each beat of his heart was a hammer colliding with his skull. He hadn't had a headache since before the serum, he wasn't supposed to get sick any more. Granted he had just completed a 48 hour mission on no sleep but he's gone longer without feeling like this. Something wasn't right. 

"Everything alright doll?" Bucky asked softly, he rose up on his elbows after noticing how much Steve was struggling to breath. 

Steve nodded even though his head was resting back against the arm of the sofa with his eyes tightly screwed closed. Bucky's voice was bearly a whisper but it's like someone was revving a chainsaw the way it echoed and grated all over. 

"Don't lie to me Steve, I can tell something's wrong," Bucky pressed, managing to sound both frustrated and really worried at the same time. 

Steve felt a cool metal hand press against his cheek, his thumb grazing over dry chapped lips. The cold was nice against how hot his face was, he leaned into it and cracked his eyes open a little. 

"Headache... I think I should probably go to bed," he croaked, hating how it put a look of fear on Bucky's face. 

He was still recovering memories and himself but a lot of their old life had already come back, mainly how sick Steve had been and how many times Bucky feared that  _that_  night would be their last.

Shaking his head, Bucky swallowed and sat up so he wasn't lying on Steve. "No, no you shouldn't get headaches anymore, you need to see Bruce, or Tony. Jarvis, can you ca-"

"Bucky, Bucky no," Steve interrupted weakly, gripping his lovers hands tightly. "Jarvis don't do anything, it's fine Buck, I'm just shattered okay? That's all it is," he assured tenderly, rubbing circles with his thumb over Bucky's knuckles. 

"Okay... Okay, we'll go to bed and get some sleep," he conceded, sliding off the sofa and helping Steve to his feet, gripping tight when the blonde wobbled a little. 

  
"Actually, Bucky, would you mind sleeping in the spare room tonight?" Steve asked. "Only for tonight, if I do have something then I don't want you to catch it," he hurried on, halting Bucky's protests.  "Look, I'm sure it's nothing, just exhaustion, but we know your serum is different to mine. You got a cold a few months back so I don't want to give you anything if it turns out I can get sick. I promise that if I feel the same tomorrow then we'll go and see Bruce. Promise,"  


Steve held up his pinkie finger with a small grin, trying to distract from how much he was leaning on Bucky for support.

"Fine," Bucky said through his teeth, linking his own pinkie and shaking before helping Steve through to their room, he wasn't walking quite right. "At least let me help you into bed. You're burning up and I want to be here in case you collapse," he reasoned, knowing Steve would let him. 

  
Even when mostly under the Winter Soldiers control, shortly after his return, Bucky had protected Steve on instinct. When each new Avenger came to introduce themselves Bucky wouldn't let them near Steve until the latter had promised that whoever it was wasn't a threat.  Steve nodded, honestly quite thankful for the help. His headache was getting worse and his vision was beginning to blur. Muscles ached and tingled while each breath was an effort in itself, Steve worried that this maybe more than just over working himself. He wouldn't let Bucky know that however, that was way too risky.  


  
Gently and systematically Bucky stripped Steve of his uniform (they got back and more or less fell onto the sofa) and dressed him in sweats. Then he acted as a crutch aiding him to the bathroom sink, holding him upright while he cleaned his teeth.  Bucky really hated the plan, there was no way he was sleeping all the way in the spare room. The floor just outside the room would do for him, it's not like he'd sleep well without Steve holding him anyway. Besides, he'd slept on worse.  Once they finished up in the bathroom, Bucky lifted Steve completely, saving him the trouble of walking. Steve protested but Bucky just ignored him, tugging the covers back and setting him  carefully down onto the mattress.  


"Anything changes and you call me okay mister? You feel sick, you call, you feel better, you call. I won't be far, and if you feel the same then I'm waking Banner, I don't care about the Hulk, I can take him. Jarvis? You too. Anything changes with him and you let me know," 

Bucky pressed a light kiss to Steve's forehead before leaving the room, waiting until he saw Steve's eyes droop closed before shutting the door behind him. 

 

* * *

  
When Steve woke up the next morning he felt mostly better. His headache was almost nonexistent, just that of dehydration. His vision had cleared and his muscles didn't ache so much. Something still felt off though. It was still hard to breathe right, each breath felt stunted, as though he was half filling his lungs.  Frowning, Steve pulled the covers off and swung his legs over the side of the bed.  He couldn't touch the floor.  His legs were tiny. Bony knees and thighs with no real muscle looked up at him.  Steve swallow and forced himself to take long deep breaths, it would do no good panicking now his lungs wouldn't be able to take it.  


  
Slowly, he pushed off the bed and made his way into the bathroom. He didn't look in the mirror right away, knowing exactly what he'd see.  When he did all the breath whooshed out at once. He had lost the serum, he was puny Steve again, ribs protruding flesh, collar bones standing out, tiny neck, pointy shoulder blades, not an ounce of real muscle in him.   


"Jarvis, lock down this room. No one comes in and I don't go out," Steve ordered the AI, thankfully hearing the slide of the metal door on his side of the bedroom, according to Stark it was Iron Man and Mjolnir proof. 

  
Not Hulk proof but no one really thought that would be a problem. It could only be activated by Steve or Bucky and only de-activated by the activator.  As soon as he heard the final lock clock into place, Steve fell too his knees in front of the toilet and vomited the little he'd eaten the night before.   


"Steve? Steve! Are you okay? Steve?!"

Steve groaned as he heard Bucky's voice through the speaker. Bucky couldn't have heard him throwing up as the rooms were more or less soundproof so either Jarvis told him or he'd heard the lockdown and assumed the worst.

Sighing, Steve hauled himself to his feet and flushed the loo, grabbing the mouthwash and cleaning the taste away. "I'm fine Buck, I'm alright. I'm gonna stay in here today though," he said, knowing Jarvis would filter it through. 

"What? Steve no. You promised. What's wrong? Why did you lock down the room? What aren't you telling me, do you still feel ill? Is it worse? I'm gonna get Dr. Banner just open up Steve, c'mon let me in!" Bucky fretted, pounding the door on the other side. 

Steve dragged himself back to the bed, slipping under the covers and curling up.

"Don't, Buck don't do that. You don't need him. I'm fine I swear. Just let me have today. I'll come out tomorrow, I promise." Steve cringed as he spoke, hating how he'd promised last night and now he was breaking it. 

"Stevie. What is it? What's the matter?" Bucky asked in soft tones, conveying comfort.

Jarvis projected a video feed of Bucky on the other side of the door, it was from behind him. Steve could see a hand pressed against the door, a cushion on the floor and the way Bucky's shoulders were drawn tight would usually give Steve reason to worry. Only he was the cause this time. 

"Buck, you slept by the door?" Steve frowned, curling the comforter tighter under his chin. 

Realising he could be seen, Bucky turned to look into the camera, Steve knew Bucky couldn't see him as the angle was wrong, if it was a two way feed then he would be looking straight, instead of up. 

  
"Yes I did, I was worried. I still am. I'll break down the door Steve, or get Stark to override the code. Somethin', I don't know. And I'm getting Bruce whether you like it or not. Something's not right and if you won't talk to me maybe you talk to someone else," Bucky slumped down to the floor, using the wall as support.  "I'm giving you half an hour Stevie, then I'm assembling the team," he vowed, giving one last meaningful look through the video feed before hanging his head between his knees.   


  
Steve spent the full half hour watching Bucky. After five minutes he'd pulled out a pocket knife and was twirling it in his fingers, keeping a steady focus on it. His other arm, the metal one, was tense and gripping his hoody, as though he was preventing it from acting on its own.  At some point Steve had started crying, the reality of the situation hitting him. He couldn't be Captain America anymore.  He couldn't help people be free, save lives, make a difference.   


The only thing he ever wanted and now that had been taken from him as well. The team would reject him, only let him stay in the tower because of Bucky. He was still of use, he had become a valuable member despite how much it scared Steve to see him in danger.

"Steve? Hey Stevie... It's okay, whatever it is, it will be alright," Bucky piped up, halting the knife and looking up to the camera again. "We'll get you fixed. Please let me in doll, I wanna help you. This is torture," he said, voice breaking a little. 

Steve had forgotten Bucky could hear him, hadn't realised how loud his sniffles and sobs had become. 

"I'm sorry Buck," Steve said, coughing a few times. "I can't, not yet," he added, taking himself and the comforter to the 'snuggle' seat by the window. 

He and Bucky spent a lot of time there, sometimes snuggling and watching the sunset other times having a little more fun. Now though, Steve just wanted to watch the world go by. 

 

* * *

Steve didn't hear anything for a while, he thought Jarvis had maybe turned the feed and audio off but after an hour or so he heard multiple footsteps and voices. 

"I don't know what's wrong with him, he locked down his room and he won't let me in," Bucky's worried voice filtered through the speakers. 

"Run me through his symptoms again?" Bruce asked, shortly followed by:

"Symptoms? Captain America shouldn't get symptoms of anything. Why didn't you fetch us sooner?" From Nat.

Why did Bucky have to get everyone, he could have maybe dealt with just Bruce, he knew the Hulk wouldn't be one to judge. And he was probably the only one with enough medical knowledge to figure out what happened. 

"He said he had a headache last night before bed. It must have been bad cause he couldn't stand well. Uh, his breathing was different, not as strong as usual. Not as deep. I don't know Bruce, it was weird. Then after he locked down the room Jarvis told me he'd been sick. He hasn't been sick since the serum," Bucky sighed and Steve could here the reactions of the team. 

  
Now in mission mode he could hear them coming up with theories, keeping emotion out of it, preventing themselves feeling for protection.  Jarvis flicked the video feed up on the window this time, Steve was both grateful and pissed at the AI. He had no right to reveal that he'd thrown up but at the same time he was giving Steve a one way viewing of outside the room.   


  
Everyone, and he means everyone, was gathered just outside his door. Bruce had a tablet in his hand, as did Tony, and the two were working to try and trip the lock somehow. Nat and Clint were talking with Sam, asking him if he'd ever seen Steve react like this after mission before.  Bucky, though, was staring longingly up at the camera again, one hand tucked up into the sleeve of his hoodie, the other toying with a thread on the same sleeve.  


"Steve? I need you to tell me how you're feeling," Bruce said, not looking away from the tablet, his hand poised above it ready to type. 

"I'm fine," Steve said. "Honestly, I am. The headaches gone, my muscles don't ache anymore and I don't feel sick at all," Steve tried not to let his throat catch as he lied through his teeth. 

He still felt awful. Yes the headache was gone but so were his muscles. He was shivering and panting slightly and the only reason he hadn't thrown up again was because he didn't have anything left to get rid of.

"Steve, if there's something wrong then we need to know cause it could be dangerous. The serum is supposed to ward against any illnesses, you might have been poisoned or something. Please let me just run a few tests," Bruce reasoned, turning and looking in the same direction as Bucky. 

Steve frowned,  _poison_. He hadn't thought of that. He didn't know how it would be possible but if anyone knew how to make him big again then it would be Bruce. 

"Okay..." he said after a few minutes. 

There was a collective sigh of relief through the speaker, Bucky had already turned to the door with his hand poised to open it. 

"Just Bruce," Steve added, flinching slightly at the teams reaction. 

  
Sam and Natasha aggressively disagreed while Clint just stood with his arms crossed shaking his head. Tony made some stupid snarky comment as per usual. And Bucky growled, low and deep, his metal fist crushed the handle easily and he began trying to force his way in.  Steve knew that kicking and hitting the door would do nothing but he couldn't help running to the bathroom to hide. Just in case. He couldn't have Bucky see him this way anymore, he had to be strong. Bucky needed strength and continuity. Seeing Steve small again could throw him into a flashback and into unfamiliar territory.  


  
While he couldn't see anymore, Steve could still hear what was going on. Bucky had stopped fighting the solid sheet of metal and Bruce was trying to convince everyone that maybe it was best if just one person went in. Steve would 'try and hide the extent of his condition' from Bucky and no one else was qualified to medically examine him.  Steve couldn't be more grateful for the calm and serenity that Bruce emitted. He gave reasoned arguments that no one could really argue with. And they tried. Didn't last long though, Bruce instructed Clint to get his medi-kit while telling the others to wait on the common floor.   


"No. Not happening. If I can't be in there with him then I'm staying in the living room. This is my floor as much as it is Steve's so you can't make me leave," Bucky argued.

Steve didn't know what happened then but after about ten minutes a feed popped up on the mirror. Steve swore they could be on any surface. It showed Bruce standing alone by the door. Whether the others were with Bucky or not didn't matter a huge amount so long as they wouldn't be able to see him. 

"Jarvis, unlock. And then lockdown as soon as he closes the door," Steve instructed, watching as Bruce entered, waiting until he heard the final lock click shut before opening the bathroom door.

"Steve..." Bruce gasped, his medi-kit falling to the floor. 

Steve fought the shame, he'd always been proud, but he couldn't. He hung his head as he slowly emerged from his en-suite.

"Do you see why I'm hiding?" he gestured to his once too tight white t-shirt and shorts that reached his knees. He'd thrown on clothes that he'd found in the bathroom.

This wasn't him. This wasn't Captain America. He didn't know how to be sickly little Steve Rogers any more.


	2. Old Wounds Hurt The Most

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries his hardest, but he's out of practice.

"Your lungs sound mostly okay, just sounds like asthma, which I guess you already knew..." Bruce concluded, as he moved a stethoscope over Steve's slim chest. 

"What about poison? You said I could have been poisoned. Please tell me this isn't permanent," Steve pleaded, dropping his shirt when Bruce took the stethoscope away.

They'd been at this for about an hour. Bruce going through various medical tests and checks that Steve was well used to having. Instead of an annual checkup he used to have a monthly check up. He could probably run them all on himself by now.

"I'll have to run some bloods to check. While we couldn't replicate the serum we could see evidence of it in your blood. If it's gone then we'll know the difference. It will also show us if you have any thing in your blood that's not supposed to be there. Like poison," Bruce explained, prepping Steve's arm.

Steve watched in resignation as he pulled out the needle. He hated them, really really hated them. Just because he's needed them a lot in his youth did not mean that he was used to them, or had developed a tolerance for them. Just the sight of one made him want to curl up in a ball and hide. 

"You're scared of needles?" Bruce asked incredulously, wiping the crook of his elbow with a cleansing wipe.

"Don't sound so surprised, a lifetime of them can do that to a person." Steve sighed, closing his eyes when Bruce gently held his arm steady 

"I suppose so yeah. Being distracted is supposed to help. I don't see how that stops you feeling it though. Maybe if you had James to dist-"

 "No!" Steve interrupted vehemently, glaring fiercely at Bruce, even though he knew the risk. 

"No, I can't do that Bruce, he needs me the way I was, he needs me to be strong. And right now I'm not. I know he's worried and I hate that I'm the cause but it would be worse for him if he finds out. You can't tell him Bruce, you can't tell any of them. _Please_ ,"

 Bruce just nodded down to Steve's arm, watching in vague amusement as Steve realised what he'd done. In his hand were three blood samples and the tourniquet. On his arm was a little plaster covering the pinprick wound. 

 "You're a bastard." Steve groaned, a small smile on his face. 

 His methods were unorthodox but Bruce was a very good doctor. 

 "Steve, don't worry about them finding out. I won't tell them, it would be a breach of patient confidentiality. But I think you should consider telling Bucky..." he held up his hand to halt Steve's protest. 

 "I know I know, but if you don't tell him anything then he could regress. You are his rock and he needs you, big or little. He's terrified you're dying, Steve. Even if I tell him you aren't he will still think that it's a possibility. You grew up together so his worry for you is very much instinctual," 

 Bruce did one last check of his blood pressure and lungs before packing everything else away. 

 "Just think about it okay? You don't have to tell everyone, and I won't pass on anything you don't want me to but if anyone knows how to help you through this then it's Bucky," Bruce said earnestly. 

 He gently squeezed Steve's shoulder and made his way over to the door, waiting patiently for Steve to open it for him. 

 "Jarvis? Is it clear outside the door?" Steve asked, walking over to the bathroom just in case.

 "Yes Captain. The team are currently assembled in your living room, no one is stood outside," Jarvis dutifully responded. 

 "Okay, thank you. Unlock and then shutdown, like earlier. And then could you get Bucky to come to the door?" Steve asked tentatively, rolling his eyes at the triumphant look on Bruce's face.

 "I'll let you know as soon as I find anything," the doctor promised before leaving. 

 Steve would have to buy him something really nice as thanks.  With the locks securely in place, Steve took the comforter to the door and made himself comfortable. He could still be close without touching. It didn't take long for the Winter Soldier to take his place guarding the door, knees up to his chest. 

 "Hey, Jarvis? Could you bring up a draughts game please?" Steve smiled when it popped up in front of him. He knew Bucky would have one of his own. "Thanks." 

 Bucky took his time with his move, even though it was pretty simple. "Bruce said you're okay. Not dying at least," he said at last, shifting a hovering black disc diagonally forward.

 "No I'm not dying, he took some blood and did tests. I'm fine. He'll let me know as soon as he finds anything," Steve told him, mirroring his move with the white disc. 

 "What is it Stevie? It can't be worse than before the serum, and I never left you throughout that," Bucky pointed out. 

 He moved a piece into the vacant spot.  Steve sighed, Bucky was right. They had dealt with flu, pneumonia, several asthma attacks, various allergic reactions, stomach bugs and just about everything else. Bucky had been there throughout. Never once leaving his side.  Bucky had eased away tummy aches with crackers and warmed blackcurrant juice.  He sang Steve to sleep when his head would not stop pounding. 

 He would curl himself protectively around Steve's entire body when the blankets were just not enough to keep him warm.  Because he could do that. Steve was so small that he could rest his chin on Steve's head and still have his knees tucked just behind Steve's.  He could do that again, he would. For Steve. If he let him Bucky would never let anything or anyone hurt Steve ever again. 

 Only he might not. 

 Not anymore at least. Bucky loved the way he was. He loved the muscles. He loved that Steve could manhandle him, he loved that Steve could hold him when he had nightmares. He wouldn't feel safe around Steve anymore. It took long enough for him to convince Bucky that he could hold him off if he did slip back into the asset. There was no way Steve would be able protect himself if Bucky slipped. 

 "Steve? Please keep talking to me. If I can't see you I need to at least hear you. And all I can hear is dodgy breathing." Bucky's voice wavered, clearly remembering the almost attacks where Bucky just got to him in time. 

 "You don't need to panic Stevie. Doctor Banner is the best out there. He can fix you. Try and stay calm Stevie, deep breaths remember? Like you showed me," he said. 

 Steve could hear a shuffling and then the holographic board disappeared. Steve rushed back over to the seat by the window, resting his head on his hands with his elbows on his knees.  He couldn't let Bucky in. Not like this. He knew how to deal with a panic attack, he'd done it before. And he could deal with an asthma attack. At least he thought he could. He never remembered his chest being this tight. 

 "Steve? Steve, you sound wheezy are you okay? Let me in, Steve please! Jarvis! Unlock the door!" Bucky cried, starting to sound frantic. 

 Steve could feel his head getting lighter with the lack of oxygen. This had gotten very bad very quickly. It had been so long, maybe it was to do with the serum  but it felt so much worse than ever before. 

 "Bu-Bucky. Help, pl-please" Steve gasped, pounding on his chest to try and get his lungs to work. 

 He can't believe he let this happen; letting his fear and panic overwhelm him. He didn't even _realise_ it was happening. One minute he was huddled up slightly shivering and the next he couldn't breath. 

 "Steve!" Bucky pounded against the door, clearly distressed. 

 "Captain Rogers, I need vocal commands before I can remove the lock down," Jarvis sounded apologetic but there was only so far he could work around his protocols. 

 Steve was on all fours on the floor by this point, coughing and wheezing. "Unlock, J-Jarvis, please. Re-remove the door." 

 Steve heard the movement before he'd even finished talking. 

 "Oh thank fuck, Steve!" Bucky barely faltered at the door, rushing to Steve's side and cradling him in his lap. "It's okay, just breath. Steve, we've done this a thousand times before. In and out with me. Just let me-" Bucky lifted himself and Steve back onto the snuggle seat, holding him tightly; Steve's back to Bucky's front, large hands gently covering Steve's chest. 

 The metal one was hardly touching him, but his right was strong and keeping him steady, helping him relax in familiar territory.

 "That's better. C'mon Stevie. Follow my breathing. You can do this," Bucky coaxed, exaggerating his breaths to make it easier for Steve.

 Slowly and surely Bucky helped Steve get his breathing under control. And now he could see straight, all Steve could think about was the fact that he was sat with Bucky. And Bucky wasn't freaking out. 

 "Let me go, Buck. You don't have to see me like this." He whispered anxiously, feebly tugging at Bucky's hands. 

 It was useless. Bucky just tightened his hold, both flesh and metal.  

 "That's not going to happen. Why didn't you let me in. What did you think was gonna happen?" Bucky asked, frustration clear in his voice. 

 "You need strength and stability Buck, I can't give it to you like this," Steve admitted, shame colouring his cheeks.

 "You think you need big muscles to be strong?" Bucky asked incredulously, he shifted Steve so he was side on, legs draping over his own. "Steve, you've been my rock since the day we met. You really think your size is going to change that?" 

 Steve sighed and leaned into him, resting his head in the crook of his shoulder. "What if it- what if?" He takes a calming breath. "I don't want you seeing me like I was before to set you back," he murmured, hiding his face further. 

 Bucky swallowed, curling his arm tighter around Steve's shoulder, pressing his lips against fair hair. "I'm getting better Stevie. I have a better handle on the asset, I can control him. And there are protocols in place. If I do slip then Jarvis alerts anyone and everyone in the tower and they come and help. They won't let me hurt you and I certainly won't. I love you Steve and if you thought losing the serum would change that then you're deranged," he concluded his tirade by kissing Steve with a level of tenderness Steve hadn't felt since before the ice.

 Steve closed his eyes and leant into it, relaxing in the feel of Bucky against him. 

 "I'm sorry," he whispered after he pulled away. 

 He kept underestimating Bucky. Constantly worrying that he might regress. Gradually walking out of eggshells but still having to tread carefully. There were still occasions where the wrong word tripped a switch. Maybe he'd been too careful, making things worse. Who knew anymore.

 "I know." Bucky said at last, using his metal thumb to caress his cheek. "How about I run us a bath and we relax while Bruce runs his tests. Everything will be okay," he promises, lifting Steve with ease and carrying him through to the bathroom, where the large tub had already begun filling with steaming water. 


	3. Healing Begins With The Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot shorter than I had hoped but then I added a chapter so I think that makes up for it. Comments appreciated :) (a huge huge thanks to my super wonderful beta starspangled-Bucky for correcting by not great English)

Steve was cautious to join Bucky in the bathtub. He was cautious to join him in the bathroom alone. For whatever reason the idea of Bucky seeing him all bony and small again set off a whole new wave of anxiety. 

After Bucky had set him down on his feet, he stripped down and turned back to Steve. Hands, one metal and one flesh, covered Steve's on the hem of his t-shirt. They stilled the trembling and slowly pried them away. 

"It's okay Steve. I don't know why you're trying to hide but you don't have to," Bucky told him gently. 

The hot and cold hands brushed along Steve's hip-line, making goose bumps raise in their path. Bucky spent a little while getting Steve used to his touch; starting at the hips rubbing small circles with his thumbs. 

After Steve became content with Bucky's hip touches he moved on. The touch warmed metal fingertips slowly brushed up Steve's stomach and over each rib, raising the shirt as he went. 

"Raise your arms Stevie," Bucky whispered, wrapping his other arm tight around his slim waist. 

The blonde looked up and met Bucky's eyes, trying to hide the fear he was feeling deep down. Meeting his eyes, Steve saw nothing but love. There was no trace of the Winter Soldier, the cold assassin Steve had, had to face for so long after his return. 

Bucky Barnes was staring down at him, just like he used to. If it wasn't for the sound of running water Steve could almost imagine the dark wooden flooring beneath his feet, low lighting and a ratty sofa to his left. If he closed his eyes he would be able to smell exhaust fumes and Bucky's old aftershave. 

Slowly and without leaving Bucky's eyes, Steve raised his arms above his head, allowing Bucky to tug the shirt off. 

"The Steve Rogers I fell in love with wasn't wearing Stars and Stripes for a living. I loved Steve Rogers ever since I found him 'round the back of the diner a year after we met. I loved Steve Rogers when he took the uniform off and dropped to his knees, leaving his role as Captain America behind. I fell in love with Steve Rogers. Not Captain America,"

Steve gripped Bucky's hands where his thumbs tucked into the very baggy sweat pants (thankfully he had slim hips for a man according to Sam so all he had to do was tighten the drawstring and roll up the legs). The taller swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing abruptly. He ducked and pressed his forehead to Steve's. 

"I love you Steve Rogers. Let me look after you," he pleaded, pulling the sweatpants down past his rear and then letting them drop to the floor. 

Steve gasped as he felt the press of Bucky against him, thighs against hips, hips against waist and now lips against lips, moving together in perfect sync. Bucky bent at the knees, not breaking contact, and lifted Steve with his palms as a seat. Bucky took the few paces left to get to the bath tub, lowering himself and Steve into the steaming water. 

The pair stayed like that for a while: kissing with Steve sitting on Bucky's lap, chest to chest and savouring one another. The heat from the water made Steve's skin a soft pink, while somehow managing not to have an effect on Bucky. The metal hand was now hot between his shoulders, a heavy weight keeping him close but not preventing him from moving.

After a long time the water began to cool and the bath began to automatically drain and refill itself with warm again. 

"Thank god for Stark's technology," Bucky muttered, amused.

Steve 'hmm'ed his agreement and continued to kiss the brunette, running his hands over a strong chest, the muscles twitching under his fingers. Bucky sighed into the kiss and moved his right hand to Steve's lower back, his fingers teasing lower. Steve gasped and pressed his hips down into Bucky's, preening at the feel of the other hardening beneath him. 

"Is this okay?" Bucky asked, slightly panicked. 

"More than," Steve replied breathlessly, running his thumbs over Bucky's nipples, knowing how responsive he was to it.

"Ohh S-Steve," Bucky sighed, arching his chest into Steve's touch. 

Bucky moved his hand down, running his finger between Steve's cheeks, teasing over his fluttering hole. Steve shifted his hips back and forth over Bucky's, rubbing their cocks together and making the water slosh around them. Bucky leaned up and pressed his lips to Steve's swollen ones.

Steve opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, Bucky's tongue gliding against his in a delicate dance. Their cocks mirroring the slide. Small moans and gasps were the only sounds in the room, besides the increased sloshing of the water around them as the thrusting became more erratic. 

Holding Steve closer, Bucky pressed the tip of his finger into Steve, sliding it in to the second knuckle. 

"Oh fuck, Bucky!" Steve cried, biting down on Bucky's lower lip and pushing back onto his finger. 

Bucky grinned, pressing his finger deeper and toying with Steve's hole. Floppy blonde hair fell to Bucky's shoulder, breathing heavily and pressing open mouthed kisses to his neck. 

Feeling a familiar tightness build in his abdomen, Steve lowered his hand to where their cocks were sliding together, struggling a little to fit his hand around both but he managed. Believe it or not but his dick is one part of Steve's anatomy that hadn't been increased in size with the serum. He'd never understood why puberty had hit so hard there but failed with everything else. 

"Mmmm Steve, more," Bucky breathed.

Steve began to jack them both off, thrusting back onto Bucky and then forward into his hand. 

"God Stevie. I'm gonna, I'm go-" he warned.

"Yeah, yeah me to," Steve huffed, raising up to kiss him again. 

It was sloppy and not one of their best but it was still perfect. Their panting grew quicker, as did their movements, building up heat and tightening the coil as they raced towards their release. Steve came first, gasping and jerking his hips, white mixing with the water. Bucky followed just after, grunting into Steve's mouth as his seed mixed with Steve's.

"Thank you," Steve sighed, relaxing fully into Bucky's arms. 

"For what?" Bucky asked, teasing his fingertips up and down his spine. 

"Looking after me," Steve replied with a sly grin.

Bucky chuckled, rolling his eyes and pressing kisses all over his face. 

"Stop that," Steve complained, swatting gently at his face. "We should get out, it's not clean in here anymore." 

"Hmm yeah, c'mon," Bucky groaned as he stood, keeping Steve in his arms. 

Stepping out and grabbing a towel, Bucky wrapped it round the both of them, walking back into the bedroom and collapsing backwards onto it without caring about how wet either of them were. Steve curled up against him, resting his head over Bucky's heart, the soft  _thud thud thud_ lulling him to sleep. 

Bucky stayed awake most of the night, memories of their youth floating to the forefront of his mind. The smile never left his face, even when the assassin began to poke around. The small weight on his chest was enough to keep it away, the instinct to protect won out against the animal inside. 


	4. A Blast From The Past.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky reminds Steve of a time they once knew and Bruce shows them the light at the end of the tunnel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since the last update, I made the mistake of starting a new story before finishing this one and I got invested.

 

"Right, I've run the test over twice and I get the same result each time," Bruce began. 

Steve was sat at the end of his bed, legs crossed with Bucky behind him, rubbing his back soothingly. Bruce had pulled the desk chair over and was flipping through various sheets of paper.

"In short, you have something in your blood that has reversed the effects of the serum. Or suppressing them, it's hard to explain," Bruce paused, frowning and searching through the paper. 

When he found what he was looking for he pulled it out and handed it over to Steve. It was a doodle of a poorly drawn crescent, almost like a bubble writing 'c', enveloping a smaller circle. 

"From what I found this is what I think is happening, like when a pathogen enters your system and the white blood cells attack it by surrounding it and killing it." 

Steve's eyes bugged as he read between the lines. 

"No no don't worry, it's not exactly the same, it isn't killing the serum. Well, you don't really have 'serum' running in your blood or we would have been able to replicate it by now but the point stands. You are a mixture of pre-serum cells and post-serum cells; think of you now as the base-code almost, and the changes your serum made are updates. We can distinguish between the two and so could the poison," Bruce concluded, a slightly impressed smile on his face.

"So whatever it is, that's making me small. Is it permanent?" Steve asked, feeling a small sense of déjà vu from when Bucky asked him all those years ago. 

"At the moment yes, but before you panic, I think I can make an antidote. I'll need a few days and two or three pints of your blood," Bruce reached into his bag and pulled out two smaller plastic ones with tubes attached.

"For someone your size that's a lot to lose so I don't want you alone. It's not dangerous but you'll struggle to walk. Bucky, can you make sure he's comfortable and doesn't try to do too much?" Bruce asked, knowing how disregarding Steve can be of his health. 

Bucky nodded and poked Steve's side, making him jerk away. "C'mon punk, lay on me," he suggested.

Shifting back, Bucky sat against the headboard with his legs parted, ready for Steve to get comfortable. 

"Jerk," Steve mumbled. 

He still did as he was told though and curled up in the space Bucky made, resting his arm out on one leg while the other wrapped around Bucky's round his waist. He was very comfortable.

Bruce wheeled over on the chair, stopping beside the bed and prepping Steve's arm. When he pressed the needle in, Steve leaned up and pressed his lips to Bucky's, remembering what Bruce had said about a distraction. 

"This should take about twenty minutes, but you need to rest for at least an hour," Bruce told him once they broke apart. 

Steve nodded and curled himself more into Buck's hold, enjoying the warmth the other radiated, he was always cold. 

"Thank you Bruce, for doing this in secret. Well, for doing it at all really but the secret bit mostly," Steve rambled, watching the bag slowly fill with dark red blood, almost burgundy in colour. 

"Steve, seriously, it's no trouble. If I'm being honest then I'm grateful you gave me something to do. I've been quite bored recently, I was getting restless. For me, science is your version of a punching bag..." Bruce explained with a self depreciating laugh. 

Turning his attention back to the bag, he noticed it was full and began to change it.

"Okay, well, you're welcome...?" Steve asked, resting his head on Bucky's chest to try and ground him. 

He was beginning to feel very light-headed. 

"Stevie, you okay?" Bucky checked, sweeping hair away from his eyes. 

Steve wasn't entirely sure why but Bucky was more himself. No, that's not right, this is himself. He seemed more like he was before the serum, before the war, like the old Bucky. It was sort of understandable given the situation but at the same time Steve couldn't help feeling slightly unnerved. What if he thought they were before the war? What if he thought Bruce was just another doctor here to read his last rights again? Steve should probably check but at the moment he didn't want to move.  

"Yeah, just sleepy..." Steve said, almost. 

It was a little hushed but both Bruce and Bucky could make it out clear enough.  The second bag was only half full at this point, Bruce had seriously misjudged Steve's weight, for an average man two pints wouldn't put them out. But then again Steve never was normal. 

"I think we have enough for now..." Bruce muttered to himself, shutting off the little tap and sealing the bags away, making quick work of the needle and plaster so he could get to making an antidote.

"No wait, you didn't get it all..." Steve complained, reaching sluggishly. 

"Shh baby, Bruce knows what he's doing. If he needs more he'll come back later. Just rest for now, okay? Sergeants orders," Bucky coaxed, sliding himself a little lower so they were more laying than sitting. 

"Listen to him Steve, you need to rest. I'll be back when I have the antidote. Unless I need more blood," Bruce said, just before he left. 

Steve sighed but let him go, he wouldn't push it cause he knew Bruce knew what he was doing.  Bucky ran his flesh fingers through Steve's shaggy hair and he dropped off almost instantly. It was almost his kryptonite the way it affected him. 

 

* * *

 

When Steve woke he felt much better, Bucky was now beside him instead of under him but he was still playing with Steve's hair so that was a plus. 

"Hey, I got you some water, and some pop tarts, Thor said they're great," Bucky whispered, shifting them both until they were sitting upright. 

"Are they still outside?" Steve asked, slugging half the bottle in one. 

Bucky shook his head, taking one of the pop tarts for himself and handing the rest to Steve.

"Nah, Bruce convinced them you were okay and then they left, Thor knocked about half an hour ago but he didn't see anything, don't worry. How're you feeling?" he explained through a mouthful, tucking his knee up behind Steve so he could lean back.

"Pretty good actually, my head aches a little but it's nothing I can't handle," Steve said, nibbling at the pop tart. "Any news on the antidote?" he asked hopefully.

Bucky shook his head sadly, finishing his tart and snuggling closer to Steve, nuzzling into his neck.

"Mm hmm stop Bucky, it tickles," Steve giggled, arching his neck into the touch anyway. 

"You sure about that baby?" Bucky breathed, his hot breath bringing out goose bumps on Steve's pale skin. 

He shivered, placing the pop tarts to one side and allowing Bucky to have his fun. 

"I forgot how cute you were babydoll." he muttered, pressing kitten kisses up and down his neck, nibbling at his earlobe and suckling on his collar bone. 

This time the bruising wouldn't disappear after half an hour. 

"M'not cute Buck," Steve grumbled, but still preening from the compliment. 

"Yeah you are, and I love it. I love your baby blues, your petite little ass, how I can press your feet to my shoulders and penetrate you so deep you can see me move on your stomach. I really love that, despite your size, you're long and thick and you fill me up so good. Mmmmmm," he purred, teasing his hand up Steve's slim thigh.

The blonde was panting lightly, Bucky's words making him get hard in his pants, a tent forming. 

"God Buck, your voice just..." Steve groaned as Bucky's hand slid up and over the bulge, making his nerve endings tingle.

"My voice what? Huh Stevie? Does it make you  _hot_?" He teased, tugging at the tie and pulling Steve's cock out. 

Steve jerked his hips into Bucky's touch, leaning back onto his leg.

"Hmm it does doesn't it, I could talk about the weather in this voice and I could make you beg for my touch," 

Steve groaned loudly, grabbing Bucky and hauling him on top of him. Thrusting his hips up into the brunette's and shuffling out of his sweats. 

"God damn it Bucky, if you do not get in me sometime within the next five minutes I'm going to find a fucking prostitute," he threatened, pushing his hands down the back of Bucky's pants and scratching at his cheeks. 

"Am I gonna have to wash your mouth out?" Bucky taunted, still not believing he had actually scolded the team on their language, Steve had one of the worst gutter mouths around.

He knew Steve wouldn't really hire someone but Bucky didn't want to waste time any way. Pulling away he stripped Steve of the sweats and then his shirt, leaving him gloriously naked and flushed past his shoulders. Then he more or less tore his own clothes off, bending down to take one of Steve's nipples in his mouth.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured between licks, reaching  into the bedside drawer and pulling out the lube. 

He flipped the cap open and squirted some out onto his flesh fingers. Instinctively, Steve brought his left foot up to rest on Bucky's shoulder, giving him access. 

Bucky slowed down at the point, making sure to tease Steve's entrance before pressing one finger gradually in. Twisting and pressing before sliding out and allowing a second to accompany it.

"Oh god, ugghhh," Steve moaned, his head dropping back down onto the pillow, the flush spreading even lower. 

"Hmmm, you like that babydoll? The feeling of me stretching you, imagine what it's like with my cock, you'll be so tight Stevie, I can't wait," 

He scissored his fingers apart before thrusting back in.  Every few thrusts, Bucky would turn his hand and stroke upwards, fingers grazing over Steve's prostate every time, making his breath catch and his hips jerk, his cock was steadily leaking against his belly. 

"Fuck Bucky! Yes! I need you now, get in me now!" Steve demanded, grasping for Bucky's hips, trying to pull him in.

At this Bucky paused, they'd always gone to at least three fingers before. "You sure Steve, you usually take one more..." Bucky said, now a little uncertain. 

Steve rolled his eyes, reaching up and kissing Bucky quickly but passionately. 

"Yes you idiot, I want the stretch, I want to feel it later in a way I haven't been able to in a long time." he admitted, kissing him again and rocking his hips up.

Bucky relented, applying more lube than was probably necessary to be on the safe side. With one foot on his shoulder, Bucky lined up his cock to Steve's entrance and pushed the head in. It was tight, outrageously so. Bucky was panting already and he was only about an inch deep. 

Grinning and gasping, Steve hooked his other leg around Bucky's waist, pressing in with his heel to get Bucky moving. Taking a hint the bigger pressed forward, resting on his elbows either side of Steve's head and opening him impossibly wide. 

The slide in was slow and torturous. It was hot and tight and oh so perfect, Bucky didn't know how much he would take, this could be over embarrassingly fast if he wasn't careful.

"Fuck, Bucky... You're filling me so much, I forgot how good this was. Please move, I need it. God!" Steve rasped, trying to roll his hips but not getting very far.

Bucky grinned, slowly dragging out so just the tip was in, then slamming into Steve with incredible force, slapping their bodies together.

"Ugh! Fuck!" Steve cried, his nails digging into his back from surprise. "Do that again," he said, attaching his lips to Bucky's neck.

Repeating the action made Steve dig his teeth into Bucky's huge shoulder, eliciting a groan from the older. Seeing Steve was okay, Bucky started a pace and rhythm that was fast and hard, slamming into the smaller like his life depended on it. Each time Steve grunted and moaned and rolled his hips up to meet Bucky's. 

"You're so good Stevie, you're perfect. Oh my god I love you, so so good," Bucky mumbled over and over, borderline babbling out praises and compliments as he got closer. 

Carefully, he reached his left hand under Steve's tailbone and pulled his hips to a different angle. 

"Fuck! Oh shit! Oh my god! Right there, right there!! Yes yes yes!!" Steve burst out, clinging tighter onto Bucky as a high pitched whine escaped him. 

"God Buck! I'm close, so close! Right there, uh ah ohhh!! fuu-uh-uh-uh-uh-uk!" he moaned out his orgasm, hot white spilling on both their chests. 

Bucky lasted only three more thrusts before he too was spilling his load, deep inside Steve, gasping and grunting. 

"Oh man, I'm so glad we don't have to keep quiet anymore," Steve joked, his voice deep and husky. 

Bucky chuckled, gently lowering Steve's leg but staying in him, sweeping sweat soaked hair off his face. 

"You were the one making all the noise..." he said, licking a few drops of cum that reached Steve's neck and chin. "I love you," he added.

"I love you too, heavy," he prodded at Bucky's ribs in an attempt to move him but it did little. 

"I'm not heavy, I'm bulky. Hey, you don't feel wheezy do you?" Bucky checked, suddenly worried.

"No, Bucky. I'm good. And bulky is the same as heavy. But if you're so bulky you can carry me into the shower cause my legs are like jelly at the moment," Steve said. 

Bucky grinned slyly, curling his arms beneath Steve and sitting them up, somehow making sure he didn't leave him. 

"Jelly? Huh? Nice," he preened, carefully getting up and walking over the the bathroom. 

Steve gasped and twitched a little as he was now sensitive but it was nothing they hadn't felt before. What was a little unusual this time was the fact that Bucky was still hard; in itself that wasn't new but it was different in this body.

"I'm not sure I can go for round two yet Buck..." Steve said sadly, already thinking of other ways to please him.

"That's fine doll, it'll go away soon enough..." Bucky promised, the shower automatically turning on and warming up. 

"Let me blow you," Steve burst out, shocking himself as well as Bucky. 

"Are you sure? I mean I know we tried but you always had trouble breathing, seriously Steve it doesn't matter," Bucky pressed, getting under the spray and finally pulling out of Steve, setting him down. 

"I think I can do it. I've been able to practice while I was big which I couldn't do before. And I don't feel at all wheezy after that which I would have done normally, I have a feeling my lungs aren't as bad. Let me try at least Buck, if I have trouble I promise I'll stop," Steve pleaded, already dropping down to one knee, looking up with big round eyes.

Bucky considered it for a few seconds but the image before him was too hot to deny.

"Fine, but the slightest hint of trouble and you stop, no exceptions," he conceded. 

Steve grinned triumphantly and automatically got to work, sucking half of Bucky down in one and lapping at the head. Bucky had to grip the wall to prevent himself falling over. 

"Shit, this won't last long..." he panted, hips thrusting involuntarily into Steve's mouth.

Surprisingly, the latter just opened his throat and let it happen, urging him, even, to go deeper. 

"Christ that's hot," Bucky moaned, heat building in his abdomen, thick and fast. "Oh Steve, hhmmmmm, I'm gonna, I'm- Christ!" Bucky shot his second load down Steve's throat, feeling him swallow and lap everything up. 

Smiling wide, Steve got to his feet and reached up to kiss a breathless assassin, proud of what he'd achieved.

"You can wash me now," he said sarcastically, placing the shower gel in his hand and taking a small step back. 

"You're suck a punk," Bucky grumbled, unable to wipe the smile from his face as he squirted some into his hand and then going directly between Steve's cheeks.

"Uh! And you're a jerk," he responded, letting his head rest on Bucky's shoulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this then come find more Stucky trash on my tumbr: http://constantly-crying-over-bucky.tumblr.com/


	5. Getting Better Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is the best boyfriend ever, Bruce is an amazing scientist, and Steve realises a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a long time coming and I lost any and all motivation to write recently so you're lucky you're getting this. and as much as well, longest chapter of the series which pushes it past 10k, yay! Thanks for sticking with it, and for reading, I hope it doesn't seem too rushed, and in case any ones interested I was writing the second half while in 3 free periods at school...
> 
> There's a slightly subtle (but maybe not) hint of a oneshot sequel to this, feel free to ask in the comments, it will help me brain storm. Enjoy :)
> 
> (AN - sorry for the odd formatting, I have no idea what happened but now it's fixed)

"Hmm, uhh, ohh... Buck..."

Steve woke gradually, being pulled into consciousness by Bucky's lips around his dick. He'd woken up to worse things. Opening his eyes he realised he was now on his back with the covers lifting and falling with Bucky's movements.

Odd, he didn't remember going to sleep like this. Bucky must have moved them, worried about him getting cold. Oh well, he was being woken up by a blow job.

"Fuck, Bucky." He hissed, feeling the slight graze of teeth along the vein on the underside. He contemplated throwing the covers off so he could see his lover but something about this was making Steve hotter in ways he thought he'd forgotten. The idea of not knowing if and where Bucky would touch next was somewhat thrilling.

By the looks of it, Bucky was currently lying to one side and leaning over. So to make things easier, Steve spread his legs. Bucky took the hint and shifted in between, keeping up his steady pace suckling Steve's cock enthusiastically.

"Mmmm, fuck Bu-ckyyyy. I- I'm cl-uuhhhh." He stammered, grasping the pillow under his head and meeting Bucky halfway with small thrusts. Bucky then brought his flesh hand up to cup Steve's balls, tugging gently and stroking his premium.

Steve came within seconds, arching his back and crying out silently, his mouth forming a perfect 'O' as Bucky swallowed down his seed. Steve chuckled, relaxing back against the pillows as Bucky pulled away.

"Mornin' doll." Bucky drawled, flinging the covers back and shifting face to face with Steve.

"What was that for?" Steve asked, grinning wide, tucking stray strands of hair behind Bucky's ear.

"You're cute and I like your dick. What other reason do I need?" He responded, leaning down to lick into the blondes mouth. Steve opened for him eagerly, tasting his own release on his tongue.

When they pulled apart they were panting heavily, but both smiling wide. Steve had almost forgotten they were in the 21st century. A knock on the door pulled them out of the bubble they'd created.

"Steve? Can I come in? I need to talk to you." Bruce called through the door.

Steve blinked, smile falling from his face as he registered the words. Bucky pulled away and let Steve up, sliding off the bed in search of sweatpants for the both of them.

"Steve? Are you okay? Jarvis said you were awake." Bruce called again, sounding slightly wired. Steve took the offered clothing from Bucky and pulled them on, his hands a little shaky.

"Yeah, yeah I'm alright. Give me a minute." He mumbled, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. Bruce might not even have a cure yet, it could just be a check-up, he might just be here for more blood.

Suddenly, Bucky was blocking his vision. Hands, warm and cold, cupping his cheek and forcing Steve to look up into stormy grey eyes.

"What if he can't fix me?" Steve breathed, his mouth saying what he couldn't bear to think. 

"You aren't broken" Bucky growled softly, a knee jerk reaction. Closing his eyes and shifting his perception. "If he can't then we will work it out. Just don't go jumping to conclusions yeah? Let's let him in and see what he has to say." He reasoned, realising that maybe Steve had forgotten the way he used to be, having become so used to the Captain America persona.

"Okay." Steve agreed, taking Bucky's hand and walking over to the door. After taking another steadying breath he swung open the door, stepping aside and letting a tired looking Bruce in.

"Did you sleep at all?" Bucky asked, slightly cautious of letting him do anything to Steve.

"Uhh, no. I got into it, and it's a problem that needed solving and I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. It's okay, I've had coffee and after this I'm gonna crash." Bruce explained, seeing the worry in Bucky's eyes lessen.

"So you've solved it? You've found a cure?" Steve asked eagerly, seeing the small container in Bruce's hand. He let Bucky pull him toward the sofa and coffee table, hearing Bruce follow behind.

Sitting down, Bucky pulled Steve close to him, letting him rest against his chest and wrapping a leg around his waist protectively.

Bruce sat beside them, turned to face them directly. He brought the container onto his lap and opened it. Inside were four test tubes 2/3 filled with a clear liquid. Steve began to nibble his lip anxiously, images of the metal coffin and Erskine flashing in his mind.

"I have good news and bad news." Bruce started, pulling out a syringe from the container. "Good news: yes, I think I've found a cure. Bad news: it's completely experimental and I have absolutely no idea how this is going to affect you." He paused, taking his glasses off and tucking them into his breast pocket.

"I don't know how to say this Steve but I saw the notes of the original transformation, and this won't be anything like that. If it was the flu, or just a sickness then I would say you'll gradually get better. This is changing you physically, you will grow almost a foot taller and I have no idea how that's going to happen. It could be in an instant it could take hours, I don't know.

"What's in these vials directly reverses the effects of the poison, I tested it on your blood and watched how it changed. So I know it works. Ideally I'd like to take some skin and tissue samples to test it but I'm guessing you don't want to wait." Bruce explained, leaving out all the complicated science that he was too tired to think about. All he needed was confirmation from Steve and then he could crash for a few hours.

Steve looked up at Bucky, hoping to find reassurance. He was going to let Bruce inject this into him either way but he hoped he could get Bucky's advice first.

"Steve, I don't think you'll be happy sitting on the side-lines after having a taste of the real thing. You'd make the best strategist the world has seen but you will always be trying to get in on the good fight and I can't risk that. However this affects you I will be by your side every second." Bucky promised, sweeping the soft strands of blond hair away from Steve's forehead. He didn't normally feel comfortable expressing this amount of emotion in front of others but for some reason it was as though Bruce wasn't even there.

Steve smiled dopily, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss on his lips before turning back to Bruce and holding his arm out ready. "Do it." He commanded, hiding his fear through the grip on Bucky's arm.

Bruce nodded and prepared the syringe, applying the tourniquet to his arm the way he had with the blood samples.

"I'm giving you two intravenously and then two intramuscular, probably your thighs. Is that okay?" Bruce checked, taking his elbow in hand and pressing the needle to his vein.

Steve nodded once, pressing his face  into Bucky's neck but unable to take his eyes of the liquid entering his system. It stung, really stung. It wasn't the same pain as the first time around but he still hissed and grit his teeth through it.

Bucky tightened his hold, hating seeing Steve in pain. Bruce moved swiftly on, giving his other arm the same treatment  and then bunching the sweatpants to the top of his thighs so avoid embarrassment. They were both adults and Bruce was a doctor but being this size wasn't something Steve was comfortable with in this century. That and he wasn't wearing any underwear...

"All done." Bruce mumbled, placing the empty syringe back in its container and pressing small cotton balls over the pinprick wounds. "How do you feel?" Bruce checked, shining a light in Steve's eyes to check his responses.

"I don't feel anything, it stings a little but apart from that there's noth-aaghh!" Steve exclaimed, curling in on himself as the drug hit his heart.

"Steve!" Bucky cried, panic flooding his system.

"Steve? What's happening, where does it hurt?" Bruce inquired, grasping his wrist to check his pulse, it was racy but strong so he assumed it was working.

"I can... feel it... pushing through. It's spreading. I can't explain. It burns but I doesn't. It aches, aaghh. Bruce... Is- is it supposed to do that?" Steve gasped out, letting Bucky hold him close.

Bruce pursed his lips and looked down, "I'm sorry Steve, I have no idea. You are a scientific anomaly so I could never predict how this would affect you. I would offer pain killers but I'm not sure how they would interact. You have a spare room right?" Bruce asked, rubbing at his eyes.

Bucky nodded, rubbing circles between Steve's shoulder blades to soothe him.

"Right, I'm going to stay in there so if you need me come wake me. I'm sorry there's nothing more I can do for you at the moment Steve, you'll have to wait it out. If it gets really bad, or you think anything is wrong then I'll be just down the hall. I'll be back to check on you when I wake up but there's not much more I can do while I'm this tired. Try to get some rest Steve, Bucky knows how to look after you." Bruce squeezed Steve's tense shoulder and swiftly left the room, leaving Bucky and Steve huddled together on the sofa.  
 

* * *

 

"Bucky- Bucky it hurts." Steve panted, gripping tight to his lovers shirt, steadily shivering. He felt so cold, freezing. It came and went in waves, one moment he felt like ice and then next he was a furnace.  


The pain had done the same, when he was cold he was tense and his muscles ached like he'd just fought doom-bots for three days straight without pause.  


Whilst hot it was like his blood was simmering under his skin. He felt a scraping on his bones and his joints and tendons seemed to be tearing apart.  


Despite it being agonising Steve could tell it was working, over 6 hours he had developed twice as much muscle definition and he'd grown almost half a foot taller. Hopefully he only had another 6 hours before he was full size again. And if he was very lucky then it would gradually hurt less.  


"I know Steve, I know. I'm sorry. You want another bath? It helped last time." Bucky suggested lamely. He felt so useless, only good for cold flannels and muscle rubs.  


"Last time it also brought on the fever quicker, I prefer this." He mumbled helplessly, huddling closer to Bucky's warmth. One thing he would miss is the way he fit against Bucky so perfectly, tucked in under his arm so protectively.  


"How can I help Steve. I hate seeing you like this." Bucky complained, tucking the blanket closer around Steve's shoulders for something to do.  


"Knock knock." Bruce said at the open door, not wanting to completely intrude. He'd had a good sleep and wanted to see how Steve was progressing.  


"Come in Bruce." Bucky said, sitting him and Steve up.  


"Well you're looking bigger..." Bruce muttered, slipping his glasses on and pulling the little light out again.  


"Is the pain any worse?" He asked, mentally noting how his pupils were a little sluggish to respond.  


"Yes but not unbearable. It changes a lot, but I think it's getting better." Steve shivered, this was based on the fact that last time he went cold he could hardly talk through his chattering teeth. He just hoped the fever would break quicker this time.  


"That's good I suppose, apart from the pain how do you feel?" Bruce queried, testing Steve's strength by making him resist pushing, and then his temperature with a thermometer in his ear.  


Steve shrugged, he hadn't really thought about it but now he was he did notice differences.  


"My breathing feels clearer, stronger. I'd say I probably feel more energised. The few times I've got up and walked I haven't felt dizzy, and I don't feel sick. Although I've not eaten anything so that may be why but even so, that's better than I was." Steve described, returning Bucky's warm squeeze.  


"That's good Steve, really great. It proves its working, it's a slow process but you are gradually getting your superhero physique back." Bruce said supportively.  


Bucky bit back a comment about how Steve didn't need a superhero body to be perfect, he was already the best person Bucky knew big or little. He just about refrained and he knew that it was what Steve was feeling. Granted he joined not to be Captain America but to support his country, but that's just how it turned out. And after 5 years things obviously became very comfortable for him.  


"Thank you Bruce. You can leave if you want, I'll let you know when it's over." Steve offered, kinda hoping the good doctor would accept.  


"I could use something to eat, you want me to say anything to the others?" He asked tentatively, knowing he would be interrogated.  


"Just that I'm on the mend." Steve supplied, nodding his thanks as Bruce made his way out of the room. Bucky sighed and opened his mouth to allow a reel of irritation and complaint flow out but he was cut off by Steve.  


"I know what you're going to say Buck. I'm perfect the way I am and I shouldn't be ashamed to show the world. But as your pops used to say: 'there's always room for improvement'." Steve quoted, unsure if Bucky even remembered it.  


"I know Stevie, I know. But I'm still right." He grumbled, unsure of how else to respond.  


Steve chuckled, lifting an arm out from under the blanket as they lay back with Bucky's chest as a pillow. He was finally warming up and hopefully he would sleep through the fever this time.  


* * *

 

"Hey sleepyhead, how you feeling?"  Bucky asked, his voice slightly rough from his own catnap.  


Steve yawned and took a moment to survey things. He wasn't cold, he was warm, very comfortably so. No the sweltering heat that forced him to take cold baths.  


His muscles felt well used but not painfully so. More like the way they felt after a training session, or an intense workout. Also a hard fuck. It was a good kind of used.  


There was no odd scraping against his bones and his joints, while a little stiff, didn't feel like they were being pulled from their sockets.  


"I'm feelin' pretty good Buck." Steve drawled, finally rolling off Bucky's chest and taking a look at himself.  


He couldn't determine height yet but his chest was a solid washboard, his shoulders were broad and his arms felt full. Sliding off the bed, Steve rushed to the bathroom to concern what he already knew. He was back!  


Bruce's cure had worked!  


"Bucky! Look! I'm big again." He exclaimed excitedly, walking back out and holding his arms wide. Turning in a circle for Bucky to observe.  


"Yes. Yes you are." He smirked, eyes taking the length of Steve's body. While small and bony, Steve had been the most beautiful person Bucky had set eyes on. But like this Bucky didn't have to worry about being careful, he could let loose.  


Until then, Steve hadn't realised he was naked. He didn't know how it happened, he'd probably woken in a bit of a haze and Buck had to bathe him again or something. He didn't care too much 'cause the way Bucky was looking at him right now made him glad for the lack of restrictions.  


"Hmm, like what you see huh?" Steve teased, prowling over to the bed. On his way he cupped his dick and began to stroke it from half hard to fully erect. He knew how much Bucky loved seeing Steve this way.  


"Ughhhh, you know I do." The brunette complained, kicking away the last of the blankets as well as his sweats, leaving him just as naked as Steve and just as hard.  


"You know, I ought to thank you for how great you've been. I was wrong to shut you out before. Let me make it up to you." Steve muttered absently, focusing on crawling up the bed so his face was inches above Bucky's pink head.  


"B-by all means, go ah-hed." Bucky stuttered, choosing not to give Steve the answer of 'it's fine Steve, I understand'. But playing along instead.  


Steve licked his lips, looking up through his eyelashes at Bucky and pressing the flat of his tongue to the head, tasting the pre-come that leaked out.  


"Fuck. Steve. Where did you learn looks like that, it's not from me." He breathed, reaching down to trace a line along Steve's jaw.  


"I picked a few things up from Peggy..." Steve admitted, knowing how torn Bucky became when it came to his only other lover.  


"I wish I could have been there to see that." He murmured, pushing down the jealousy in favour of a renewed heat spreading throughout his body.  


"Peggy suggested it once, inviting you into my quarters for a night. Or more...." Steve told him, licking stripes down his shaft and kissing his way back up, softly sucking on the head.  


"W-what do you mean?" Bucky questioned, confused. Also picturing the image of Steve siting on him while he then fucked Peggy. The idea of a third party wasn't at all unappealing.  


Steve sucked all of Bucky's length down and then pulled back, drawing a groan out of the soldier. "Shortly after I rescued you she came to me and said: 'You love him', that was it. I didn't deny it, no point, she would see straight through it." Steve explained, lazily stroking up and down Bucky's shaft and thumbing the slit.  


"So later that night, she was riding me and suddenly stopped, this wild excited grin on her face. She wasn't very subtle Buck, came straight out with it: 'I want to see you getting pounded by Barnes' she said." Steve chuckled at the memory, burying his head in Bucky's hip as a blush began to spread.  


"You wanna know the best part?" He asked rhetorically. Bucky nodded dumbly.  


"I came right there on the spot. No build up whatsoever. Just shot my load. Peggy laughed and said that _that_ was the exact reason why we should get you involved." Steve nipped and sucked at Bucky's hip for a few moments, letting the information sink in.  


"Why didn't you come find me? We both know how short your refractory period is." Bucky pointed out, resting his hand on Steve's head and toying with his hair.  


"Had you not been captured then I would have. But the first few nights you were back didn't go too well, even when we had time for a quick blowjob behind the showers, you couldn't get it up Buck. I didn't want something bad to happen." Steve ended with a soft kiss to Bucky's abdomen, tenderly rubbing circles in the other hip.  


"That’s fair enough I supposed." Bucky sighed, really wishing Steve wasn't right. "Maybe we should consider it now? You know, a third party..." He suggested, moving his leg where Steve was pressed up against, getting him interested again.  


"I'm not completely opposed to the idea... It would have to be someone we trusted." Steve said, shifting his hips in time with Bucky's movements.  


"Yeah, not necessarily a woman right? Cause I think I'd like to see how far you stretch around two dicks." Bucky pondered, gripping tighter on Steve's hair.  


"Mmm, fuck, me too, we're gonna talk about this more but in the mean time I want you to ride me." Steve shivered, crawling up and rolling onto his back, Bucky immediately following him.  


"I like the sound of that." Bucky grinned, straddling Steve's hips and rubbing their cocks together.  


Steve moaned and reached for the lube in the bedside drawer, he wasted no time slicking his fingers and getting them inside Bucky, no time for teasing.  


"Aghh." Bucky cried, throwing his head back and pushing further onto Steve. "You know how to please a guy." He joked, leaning down to kiss and suck hickies onto Steve's collar bones.  


"Damn right I do." He growled, spreading his fingers inside and stretching him out, curling them every so often to press against his prostate. Bucky's cock leaked all over his stomach and the filthy moaning made Steve all the more eager.  


"Fuck. Stevie, get in me now, I need you." He begged, pulling away from Steve's fingers and reaching down to angle his dick right. Steve held him at bay long enough to add lube to his prick, no need for this to be painful.  


Placing his hands on Bucky's hips, Steve surrendered control. The brunette sat up straight and slowly lowered himself down onto the blonde, mouth parting in complete ecstasy, eyes never leaving his lovers.  


Once fully seated, Bucky circled his hips in a figure of 8, rising in some places and the falling again. Steve stuttered moans and sighs of pleasure, his grip tightening on Bucky's hips.  


Having had enough teasing, Bucky rose up on his knees and sank back down, slowly bouncing up and down on Steve's hips, resting his palms on Steve's waist.  


"Fuck Bucky, faster, I need more." Steve whispered, his hips lifting to meet Bucky's, trying best he could to increase the tempo.  


Bucky grinned, leaning forward and resting on his elbows either side of Steve head. "All yours." He whispered into his ear, nipping at the lobe. Steve groaned low and deep.  


He let go of Bucky's hips and wrapped his arms around his waist. Trapping Bucky's cock and pressing their chests together. They could feel each other's hearts beating strong and fast. Then, he placed his feet flat on the bed, shifting Bucky up and enabling him to thrust with no restrictions.  


So he did.  


Fast and hard Steve drove into Bucky. Their bodies slapping together and their moans filling the air. It wasn't long before both of them were climaxing.  


Bucky pulled away enough to press his lips against Steve's, their tongues mingling together and silencing moans as they came. Steve pressed deep into him as he spilled, feeling like he hadn't cum for a week. Bucky followed shortly after, shooting out and smearing both their chests with hot white semen.  


After about a minute of kissing, Steve pulled back and began to laugh, pressing his nose into Bucky's neck.  


"What, why are you laughing?" Bucky asked through his own giggles.  


"Nothing, I'm just really happy." Steve grinned, only slightly loosening his hold of Bucky.  


"You are such a sap Rogers. Jeez." Bucky said around a smile. "Now are you gonna carry me to the sower for some great wall sex or are you gonna let your little Stevie get cold?" He jibed, enjoying the look of both arousal and discontent that sweeper over his features. He could feel Steve getting hard again inside him and before he knew it he was being hauled through to their en-suit and into the already running water, Steve immediately pushing him hard against the wall and slamming into him.

* * *

 

"Okay you wanna tell us what the fuck that was all about!?" Tony demanded, trying to get all in Steve's face as he exited the elevator on the common floor. Only he fell short so kinda lacked the intimidation factor.  


"You go all radio silent on us and only let Bruce and lover boy in? What the fuck Steve!? We're supposed to be a team." He ranted, hands balled into fists in an attempt to refrain from punching Steve.  


Now that he thought about it, Steve noticed how frazzled Tony looked. Granted he usually looked sleep deprived but there was a mania in his eyes that wasn't usually there. Maybe Steve had been wrong to hide it from everyone.  


"Tony? Tony, I'm sorry. Something happened to me that I didn't want you to know about, still don't, but it's fine now. It's fixed." Steve assured him, placing his hands on Tony's shoulders to try and calm him.  


Bucky, who had been able to sidestep the angry mechanic, returned with a beer in his hands, one for him and one for Steve.  


"Hey, c'mon Stark, the mans entitled to his privacy. You lock yourself away in your workshop for days on end without telling anyone if your even alive." Bucky sneered, not unkindly though as he remembered how Tony had reacted when he'd first been told.  


"Steve has an override code, even if I completely lock down Steve and Pepper can get in and drag my pathetic ass out." Tony admitted, deflating slightly now he could see Steve was actually alive and well.  


"You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shut you out like that, in future I won't and maybe I'll tell you what happened at some point but not right now. All I want right now is pizza and movies." Steve bargained, accepting the beer and making his way over to the sofa pit.  


At the moment it was only Tony who was on the common floor, and he waited for Steve to get comfortable before sitting beside him close enough that their sides and thighs were pressed together. Steve was a little confused but he realised Tony had lost people in the past. He was probably scared of losing another and needed the comfort of physical contact.  


Bucky frowned slightly at their positioning but the more he looked the more the cogs turned in his mind. Allowing them to work without giving it too much energy, Bucky tucked himself under Steve's waiting arm and then draped his legs over Steve's lap. This also meant that his feet were resting on Starks lap. The mechanic looked down at them in confusion but then took them in his hands and began to massage them, pressing thumbs into tense arches.  


Steve nudged Bucky and looked down at him, a look that said 'what are you doing' on his face.  


 

Bucky shrugged, nodding his head towards Tony and then arching his eyebrow suggestively. Steve's eyes widened in understanding, sneaking a peak to Tony and shrugging in answer.  


"Stop talking without talking, I don't like it." Tony grumbled, picking a movie and settling down.  


"Steve! You're out of your room! What gives?" Clint chirped, dropping down from the vent in the ceiling.  


"Hi Clint..." Steve said, slightly resigned. "What's important is that I'm out now. Don't worry about it yeah? Maybe get me drunk and I'll tell you but not just yet." He muttered, smiling at the feeling is Tony moving just a little bit closer.  


"Yeah, sure." Clint agreed, slightly reluctantly. "I heard something about pizza." He prompted, going to the fridge and grabbing a beer.  


"Yeah, Jarvis is ordering for everyone, if you wanna get them." Steve answered, looking back over his shoulder.  


"Awesome, Sam! Tasha! You can come out now!" Clint shouted to the air. From the same vent Clint just dropped from fell Sam and Natasha, landing comfortably on the mass of cushions.  


"What the..." Bucky muttered, rolling his eyes at the three of each of them and returning his focus to the film.  


"Pizzas arrived." Bruce's soft tones filtered through to the common floor. His footsteps arriving a few minutes later. But instead of being civilised adults who use plates and cutlery, Bruce dumped the boxes onto the small table in the centre and let everyone attack.  


"Hey, where's Thor?" Steve asked, folding a slice in half and taking a big bite.  


"Spending some time with Jane, he said he'd be back in about a week." Natasha supplied, throwing the crust of her slice back in the box.  


Steve nodded, remembering him mentioning something along those lines. "I just wanna say guys; sorry for shutting you out. Something happened I'm not comfortable admitting just yet and I want to thank you for being somewhat understanding..." Steve blurted, sheepishly reaching for another slice of pizza and nibbling at it slowly.  


"Steve, don't worry about it. We're just glad you're good again." Sam spoke for them all, not making a big thing out of it exactly the way Steve wanted.  


Bucky leaned up and kissed his cheek, making himself comfortable and focusing on the film again.  


After that, things quietened down; they all sat in the sofa pit with random points of contact connecting them all. It was nice, comfortable and somewhat domestic. Even the way Tony tilted his head to rest on Steve's shoulder.  


Gradually, Steve realised that he shouldn't have worried about the team finding out. They wouldn't have laughed, they would have done everything in their power to help him. It took him too long to realise that but now he has. And the in the future he will always let them in.  


He wasn't Captain America to his team.  


He was Steve Rogers.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on tumblr for loads of Sebastian Stan and general marvel trash!!!  
> http://constantly-crying-over-bucky.tumblr.com/


End file.
